Cal Ripken Caught in Steroid Bust!!!

In other news, April Fool's Day is probably my favorite holiday.

Every year I make a phone call and "get them good."

Here are my last 4:

4. "Hey Car [my older sister Carolyn] I don't know what happened last night but I am in jail right now. I think it's cuz I punched a cop. Can you pick me up?"

3. "Yo, what's up Emmett [leaving a voicemail for my cousin]? We got a couple kegs down by the woods. Tons of people, man. Come on by...Holy Shit! Is that a cop car? Fuck I gotta run...where's my jacket? Oh shit they got their sirens on! Thump thump thump....."

2. "Hey, mom. How's it going? Yeah, I 'm doing okay. Well, actually, I've got some bad news. The dean called me in for a meeting...and...apparently I didn't pass some class last semester and its "the final straw" or something, so I'm not allowed back on campus next semeter....Basically I got kicked out of college..."

1. Hey, mom. Umm...I guess this could be good news...I don't know how to tell you this, but....I got a girl pregnant..."

I have used all of these, and they all work great. It's the best holiday because people forget it all the time.

Anyhoo, it's getting a little late. Blogging is not for the faint of heart...or the chubby of fingers. I happen to be both ,so let's end this right now.

And furthermore, Susan, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to learn that all 4 of my readers habitually listen to Pandora.com. It's a great website if you like music and want more of it, especially indie/alternative rock. Boo-ya-ka-shaw! So check out Pandora and go prank somebody!!! "[borat voice] I like you!"